Stress Reduction Techniques: How to Turn Stress into Big Success

Learn one Eastern practice that can make all the difference.

If you lead a busy modern life, then there’s one crucial strategy from Eastern practices that will help you find real happiness. This one skill (hint: it’s in your brain) will keep you from being led astray and swallowed up by stress.

By Jeff Skolnick, MD, PhD. 

Let me set you straight right away. The title of this blog might conjure up an image of a corporate employee or better yet an executive using stress to get more done. No. That’s not what I mean.

I’m talking about turning stress — whether from something specific, like a boss riding you, or something general, like being worried about getting older — into life success.

What is life success? It’s feeling like your life is complete. Being so satisfied, so fulfilled, so dialed into happiness and peace that even if you knew you were going to die in the next hour, you’d feel grateful that you had lived fully. No regrets. No disappointments. Life success is success that’s on a whole different level than just accomplishing things.

It’s really important to say that stress is not just something to be removed as fast as possible — if at all really. It actually helps you get to life success. 

So, how can that be — stress being good? And how is it possible to be so happy and fulfilled you could die in the next moment being really ok with it?

Well, we know that both are possible, because people from every walk of life have reported being able to achieve it. All kinds of people throughout human history. Here’s a modern take on what they said they did.

First, recognize that stress, the mental and bodily tension and emotions that make it up, is a source of energy, a motivator. It’s what makes you want to take the journey to the highest place in life you can get to. You wouldn’t be motivated without it. In fact, you probably wouldn’t even bother reading this blog without it.

And actually, the more stress the better. There’s an ancient expression that says those who suffer the most have the best chance of achieving deep fulfillment, of reaching the highest realms of spiritual attainment (read: life success).

Now, I’m not recommending that you stress the heck out of yourself so you can attain Nirvana. What I am saying is that you shouldn’t try to run from your stress or get freaked out by it, because it is your friend. Welcome it — as bizarre as that may be to hear.

Next, what you’re going to do is use the feelings of your stress to find an inner place of silence and stillness that is stressless. Known for centuries as the “mind’s eye,” “third eye,” or “inner eye,” it is a virtual place inside your head behind your eyes and between your ears.

Pay attention in there carefully enough and you’ll feel it. Of course, you’ll know you hit on it because you’ll immediately see the difference between the feeling of stress in your mind and body and that place of peace within. Try feeling for it. Use your stress like a divining rod. What could be more important than learning how to do that?

That’s a skill that takes some practice. You might be lucky and feel it right away. The trick is to be able to stay there longer and longer. Eventually you’ll move in. Be careful though. The more you grasp for it the more elusive it can be. You have to watch for that.

Finally, when you are able to stay in that inner place of stressless silence and stillness long enough, what happens is that the normal “you” starts slowly disappearing. Now don’t freak out at that possibility. You’re not going anywhere. You just become something more. Let’s call it being less self-conscious to the point that you’re not operating from a place of self-consciousness at all!

Sure, you feel the stress and recognize the thoughts and beliefs that are causing it. You feel the emotions that come from your stress. You just know it from a place of unselfconscious inner knowing. Simply put it means there’s an inner reference point where you are just present, knowing — and really grasping the significance of — the moment. The moment sort of comes alive. It’s really cool even though it does take some practice to find.

The stress of life — which everyone has — happens because you see your life like it’s a movie or story that has a plot and an ending that you have to find. The ending of course is the holy grail, the ultimate goal. You know, happiness. An ideal life that you have to find somewhere! 

When “you” disappear more and more, you find what you want inside you each moment. You enter a wonderful inner place of silence and calm. That’s when the story becomes just that — a story. You realize it doesn’t have to control you.

In that unselfconscious inner place, you find relief from self-consciousness — which is important by itself. When you operate from an inner place of stressless silence and stillness you feel serene, yet excited joy. It’s the fulfillment that we talked about in the beginning of this blog. A place where you could die tomorrow and feel ok because you had lived fully each moment.

So, the lesson? Bless that stress. It leads to success… 

Stress Management Help: Life—the Great Escape

Are you running from or to life? 

Join the club if you have to do something to unwind, relax or shake off the day and—here’s the catch—its gotten unhealthy, obsessive or out of balance. Find out why and what you can do about it.

Do you need to do something to unwind and relax, to shake off the day or cope with stress? Here’s the question: Are these things becoming unhealthy, obsessive or out of balance? If they are, you are eligible to join a highly inclusive club. It’s called Club Humanity.

If you’re caught up doing things to distress or cope or unwind, things that are not serving you, you are likely running from life. So, choose your poison. Whether you move a lot (the “geographic cure”), drink or use drugs; can’t wait to turn on the TV, watch a movie or open your book; eat to feel good, really need to have sex, live for the next vacation, or go from relationship to relationship like Tarzan goes from vine to vine—you may be already be caught up in a vortex of escapism.

Again, it is a rare person who is not trying to escape. Look at the obesity epidemic in children and adults. People eat to feel good. And they find it hard to stop. Again, it’s universal. Whether it’s an elderly black woman in Uganda, a white teen in the US or a Japanese man in Tokyo, we all try to escape life.

Why? Because life is really hard. Because we are vulnerable, sensitive beings who upset each other. Because we hurt ourselves with self-limiting, self-critical beliefs. Because life will never be as good as we can imagine. Because we are just self-aware enough to know that we’ve been given a magnificent miracle called existence, which is going to go away some day.

Even when things are great, some people just can’t enjoy it. They need to add a beer or wish it was better or worry it won’t last.

Now, I’m not trying to be radical here. Some amount of escapism is probably fine. The problem is, for the vast majority of us, escapism becomes a trap. It’s a vicious cycle that propels us dizzyingly through life more stressed, scared and unhappy than we would have been if we just turned and faced what we were running from.

What am I talking about when I say, “turn and face what we are running from”? It amounts to: “Nothing can be changed until it is faced.” (Thoreau). Live in the moment. Be here, now. (Ram Das) “Radical Acceptance.” (Tara Brach). “The Power of Now” (Eckhart Tolle). Carpe diem.

These sayings hint at the opposite of escapism: bathing. Bathing in now. Saturating ourselves in our experience. Immersing ourselves in our senses, thoughts and feelings. So, why do most people get caught up in whirlpools of escapism rather than bathing in their experience of life?  In other words, why don’t we just “be here now”?

Well, who wants to bathe in sadness? Who wants to immerse themselves in boredom? Who would want to purposefully feel anything negative? Because that is what “being here now” means. Acceptance means embracing everything just the way it is. So, here’s a key question: Why would we want to bathe when we can escape?

There are many reasons. One, for example, is that escapism only works for so long. The underlying problem you’re trying to escape from usually gets worse. So, escaping doesn’t usually solve problems.

More importantly, bathing in now shows us a higher part of ourselves that most people aren’t acquainted with. Called many things, like the “inner you,” a “higher self,” your “true nature,” your soul (in a nonreligious sense), it lies very deep within your experience. When touched you feel insanely alive and profoundly grateful for your existence. A source of exhilaration, energy and deep happiness—it’s there no matter what is happening around you or within your emotions. Here’s the catch: Touching this deeper core requires that you completely accept the moment the way it is. You can’t get in there any other way.

So, while most people around the world desperately seek to escape from the drudgeries and hardship of life—creating mega empires in food, alcohol and entertainment industries—some have discovered how to bathe in the moment. More and more people are figuring out how to luxuriate in their experience, even when it is harsh. So can you. 

How do you do it? It’s a skill. A skill that can be broken down into subskills. There are lots of ways to learn parts of it, just a few ways to learn all of it and lots of people who teach it. Start though by asking yourself: am I running to or from life? 

Well, I’ve gotta go. I’ve had hard day and I’m going to fix some popcorn, get a beer and watch a movie.

For more information on Dr. Skolnick, the SatoriWest Method or SatoriWest LifeClubs, go to SatoriWest.net.